Schizophrenia Maze
Normal
Out of Order Come Chaos
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Out of Order Comes Chaos

Out Of Order Comes Chaos

David Holloway & Stephen Hoper

David Holloway (c)

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The Speeders

The speeders never slow down
They go two million miles a minute
And never, ever shuts up!

The speeders are constantly running their mouths,
Letting their voices be heard.
And I know who the speeders are:
Schizophrenia and his brother,
Schizo-affective Disorder
Yes, these brothers are the speeders
Because they send racing thoughts through my head,
Making me feel Invincible, “Conquering the world!”
Ha! “Conquering the world!” Ha ha ha!
That is so funny!
How can I, when I cannot even
Control my life?

Yes, these are the speeders, but they won’t rule over my life!

By: Jonathan Marshall

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On the Highway to Hell

Welcome to hell, all highways lead there in this place, there is no sanctuary! Everywhere is hell here. The highway, the rest stops and the destination, I seek for solace in the woods and in the city, with friends and enemies, but the closest thing to home, I have found in a needle. I want to drink my life away and bleed out, but the wicked revel in making me suffer. There will be no shelter here, the front line is everywhere, I’m being torn apart, tearing my reality at the seams, amid the screams of my inner child, they don’t know truth and if they do, they pollute it and seek to mute it. I’m suited up for the apocalypse, the after effects of too many shrooms has my mind reeling, the ogres and trolls who traverse this land are unforgiving, hearts gone cold and rotted away, crumbled like a mighty stone, you say you love, so you rape, you say you want, so you take, this life is a mistake, I cannot relate to the hate that spews forth from your mouths in the name of love. Just give me more drugs, to fill my mind with insanity again, give me more pills till I am filled to the brim, rape me with a needle, ask my consent, but it makes no difference, you will do your worst either way, would I be wrong to say you will pay? For the innocence you’ve sodomized like so many lies from the politicians mouth, I’m stuck to this couch, with cotton mouth, amid shouts and screams that got me feeling terror. Feels like I’m choking on cat hair, as I stare out into space, soul raped, I am forsaken, you have taken my last hope away. I don’t want to feel because it would be too much to bear, ensnared in the trap laid for me, I have traded innocence with insanity, scripture for profanity, the need to die is the lamb in me, that yearns to be set free, like he who was hung from a tree. Cross my heart and hope to die, I want to do right, I want to wear white, I want to be like starlight in the black abyss, but I twist like snakes possessing my legs, my mind cracked open like an egg and fried on a skillet, heated by the fires of hell! I cannot come out of my shell, for I fear the wrath of the devil, who has occupied the minds of all those who walk the earth around me. There is no value in life, it has given way to hell.

By: Bornstein

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Age Of Unenlightenment

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The Halo and the Horn

Schizophrenia is not the devil.
We can be demonic. It is not Godly.
We can be divine. We are the halfway
symbol of humanity. Represented in
folklore by images of religion-
signs of the Halo and
the Horn.

By: David Holloway

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Beautiful Shores

Fly kites along the shore
amid rocks and the salty air
picnic under the blinking stars
relax by a sycamore tree and
stand with friends though they stand
no more
I am the
maiden of my imagination

dive a thousand leagues
beneath the waves
and dine at eventide
by the light of the moon
side by side with nothing between
us but distant voices
beautiful thoughts roar though
my beauty wilts
these playful
pleasures are all I have
she kissed me like war
the riddle of my life was a
bugle call because
experience made me poor
but I learned to trust God
and now I feel fine
I am no longer the Observer
I have crossed the Ocean

By: David Holloway

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The Dead of Winter

How can this be?
who is to blame?
A human who suffers
Is never the same.

They’re dumped from the hospital
and shelters and warmth,
to wander the streets
in clothes tattered and torn.

So many pass by
closing eyes to the truth
they don’t want to help
They haven’t a clue.

A man with schizophrenia
a woman with bipolar
both wander the streets
alone with no cover.

The cold snow falls down
and so does the rain
they’re soaked to the bone
their bodies, in pain.

Their brains tell them truths
no one can discount
they fight demons so cruel
speaking voices, so loud.

They’re lost in their mind
and lost on the street
they wander past others
no shoes on their feet.

I see them around
in stories and life
seeking shelter from cold
behind boxes they hide.

What’s wrong with society?
Why do they ignore?
These people are humans
they deserve so much more.

Whether sick from the bottle
or mentally ill, lost inside
they all deserve love
compassion and fight.

The travesty is
society walks away
while HUMANS, they suffer
Huge prices they pay.

This must come to a stop
I call to you today
Reach out to the homeless
do not turn away.

The homeless, the lost
can’t help themselves back
without our helping hand
And this is a fact.

Don’t let their illness
their schizophrenia, their bipolar
deter you from caring
they deserve so much more.

It is in our hands
it’s “we” with the power
to make all the changes
this is our hour.

Promise yourself
and your fellow man
to give them a life
they deserve in the end.

By: Melanie Jimenez

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The Raven and the Rainbow

Trees didn’t hide the massive blackbird
The words couldn’t hide her chosen star
The sky fell upon me, a new world has begun
I wonder about space, or a distant sun.

All these reasons people think I’m deadly
when “they” could never erase my mind
Thorazine didn’t even phase me
Memories that others have left behind…

I didn’t fall for the madness of love
But this isn’t about love, this is about madness
But when I think about madness…I guess…
I wonder about what the truth is….in all my badness

There is no excuse for this, madness….
There is no excuse for us now I know
He unbinds me, he rewinds me
I rejected the confinement of a conditional
existence, resisting control!

Now confined to these four walls
Restrained to be, a perfect machination
To be a slave, to these obscene creations
Peacefully I wait for a reason
Just wake me up, Destiny.

Peaceful now, Peace for now
Peace for now, I’ll be asleep
I’ll be asleep when the machines fall away
I’ll be safe without the wall to claim me
My wires never failed after it all went away
I won’t need to be disconnected.

I’ll be right here.

This is the truth that I was rejected
This is the truth that I lied to be accepted
There is something you’ll never know
There is something you’ll never see!

This is the reason: I asked for an answer
This is the answer, you never wanted to know
when no one else believed me
I was not blind, I was never seen
The world just could not see….

Until now, because now I know
That between the walls there is an echo and those
Echoes survived, just to show me freedom
To accept the reason, the hidden truth I chose.

By: Bryant

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The Liberal Left

In the diary room Katy Hopkins nominates Nadia
Sawalha on day 12 to be evicted, for coming from the liberal
left because
she is annoying and she has sided with
or appeased a nobhead like Perez, the celebrity
blogger.

Her antics in the Big Brother house include bullying a fragile
woman, whom she insists is thick.
But what of the liberal left, and the woman
who fat shames? Her attitude is vacuole, and
she has part of her brain missing. Her behaviour is not entertainment,
she’s a blogger and a bitch. But when her thoughts become
actions, suffering ensues. I question how a liberal
lefty hurts people?

Her lot wage wars, and her lot lies to the public.
Her UKIP generation.
They confuse the world and fit it snugly
into repugnant ideological vats of fat. Her thick yellow
fat sickens me, it’s a McDonald’s fat, that I both
consume and detest. The farther right
politically you go the fatter you become,
the more immobile your thoughts,
the more you smother the
opposition, and the more like
Cronus, the Titan you are,
the God who ate five of his children.
But I appease her, I will listen to her,
and help her slim, and even
pity her vacuous mind. For I am the
liberal left, and I love her
for who she is, and what
she can become-
human.

By: David Holloway

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A War

A war inside my head is taking place
I wish for peace, but it’s like never-ending chase
There’s nothing I can do, makes me feeling blue
Don’t know what is the reason to live like this
I’d throw myself, everything that resembles me to the abyss
Give me reasons to stay, give me reasons to pray
My eyes, they are colorless of this way of life
Its silence I miss, but all I get is this noise of no reality.

By: cätlyn

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He Suffered More

He has suffered more:
He has carried the pain—unbearable throughout his body

He has suffered more:
Rejection from Judah and priests: everybody

He has suffered more:
His disciples ran, was by Peter disowned

He has suffered more:
Broken body, the crown of thorn…

He has suffered more:
Nails holding his body

He has suffered more:
He was bruised and all bloody

He has suffered more:
More than our sickness

He has suffered more:
More than our weakness

He has suffered and now
I get up and say
You are my King and crown
With my love and praise.

Alexandra Mahanaim

03-24-2013

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Dear Life

Oh how these vapid years
Have passed by,
Drawn out and dragging with them
The haunted remnants of my psyche,
And as their cold, blistering wake
Cuts through me
I am left unfeeling, unnerved
And at your door,
For in your absence I have floundered
In these icy depths
And seek now
The sweet relief of your rescue

By: Abigail

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Double Slit Experiment

Lying down in the tub,

billowing cumulus clouds of crimson,

lethargy coming on slowly,

Made a choice I will

never have again…

You want me to explain…?

Sincerity and genuineness

Is impossible for me…

Just a big reaction to

the fragmented throng.

Tried to excise my

coping mechanisms…

exacerbated by ego

and erroneous perceptions

of corpulent truths.

You won’t forgive my indolence…,

But you don’t know me.

I am very busy…

At the molecular level.

_Son of Ham
By: hiroshi kuhn

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As Above So Below

The wheel
of life moves everything in turn.

Each spoke of the wheel appears
in line with a natural
order of things.
Godly ideas exist
in humanity, in the heavenly
carpet of space
and on earth.
As above
so below.

Each individual wheel is tested and
refined with pinpoint precision
by God, and the universe’s cosmic
machine.

Schizophrenia’s mystery
baffles humanity.
It’s an inner wheel of man.
A malfunction of the brain.
Though it has its place
in our universe and
the body machine.
But we cannot know
where.

And the wheels of life are
endlessly turning,
like the cogs in
a timeless watch.
Though schizophrenia is
out of time.

Chaos has reason to exist,
like order, for it was created by
universal laws. It is not the Lord’s
mistake. It is creation:
the cosmic engine of
creativity. Mental illness
is the
epitome of chaos
and creation.

Chaos came before
order. Our ancestors lived with
it. It is a sin
to misjudge
its existence,
alongside its
evolutionary
purpose. For every
planet, star, element and
man has its place
in the universe. In
heaven and on
earth. As
above so
below.

By: David Holloway

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