I’m Not Schizophrenic

I’m not schizophrenic.
But I have a mental illness.
I have schizophrenia.
There is a difference.
I am not an illness.
I have an illness.

I see things, that others cannot.
I hear things, that others cannot.
I am unable to distinguish between legitimate and illegitimate.
Reptiles and snakes are a part of my everyday life.

I often forget who I am
and what I want.
I do not feel myself performing or being a part of my own actions.
I feel persecuted, hunted, lonely and anxious.

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I don’t trust myself, my thoughts or my actions in any way.
I hear voices arguing over my head about me.
A voice is commenting on all of my actions and thoughts.

I’m always afraid of hurting myself or others.
I am afraid reptiles will kill my family or I.
I feel unable to be happy or have hope.

I just want to be normal, with no voices and visions.
Be able to live my life with those I care about.
Without being constantly psychotic.
Without doctors and psychiatrists.
Just being a normal young girl.

Mie Sorenson (c)

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