[audio:http://schizophreniapoetry.com/file/2012/05/Paranoid-schizophrenia.mp3|titles=Paranoid schizophrenia]

I am looking ahead as so many are following behind me
Everyone’s hands reaching out to hurt me somehow-
I feel are manipulating my thoughts-
People looking ahead and so many following behind me
On this mesmerizing spring-like day- I wonder why this world is
Out to menace and persecute me? A gentle breeze blows and dogwood is blossoming,
Daffodil stems rocking gently within a gentle gust of wind-
While the sky is cloudless and I can feel the warmth of the sun brightly shining, and as
Its rays are gently caressing my shoulders; all I can do is weep-
I am looking ahead as so many are following closer and closer behind me-
Though it couldn’t be a more picturesque and
Amazingly beautiful day- This world is not a safe place to live in-
This world is replete with wicked, conniving souls
Who wish me none but harm and desire to only betray me-?
Walking before me everyone looks into my eyes as
My mind has become literature to the public-Solitude to me is the only safe key to
My existence in this cruel and threatening world, of which
I was born to be a sole survivor and
Three billion people wish me nothing but harm-
Looking ahead I see people glaring at me through their eyes
In the back of my head and I have nowhere to turn to find safety as
So many are following directly behind- Within a gentle gust of wind, I shall be gone-
A bird with a broken wing that is still able to fly-
I shall fly to the top of a maple tree and hide from the inhabitants
Of this planet that has done nothing but to ridicule me and
Invade my personal space-lack of trust and heightening fear has
Taken away any place I might have had in this world-
The warmth of the sun gently caresses my shoulders and
I am thankful that inside the world of my thoughts
I have become this bird who can fly away from this cruel world-
This cruel world that has taken me and locked me away-
This cruel world that has made it so I can only survive
Alone in an empty room, screaming and crying, begging for
Some freedom from pain and solace from anger?
Looking ahead and looking behind-waiting for a bomb to drop upon
The world I have created for myself and as I listen to voices only I can hear-
I try to shut the world out- this world that is reading my thoughts through my eyes,
And following me wherever I go- being a bird with a broken wing,
I am grateful to be able to fly into the cloudless sky where no one can
Read my thoughts and follow me-
Within a gentle gust of wind I shall be gone, forever.

Claudia Anne Krizay (c)

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