Today I heard voices upon awakening-
They were screaming “I want to kill you”
In this moment of madness I turned my head, and found myself alone.
I thought I had heard footsteps and believed that
These voices were coming from hell-

But again I came to realize they
Were all originating from inside of that tortured world of my thoughts?
I wept as I begged these voices to silence, but I
Tried to mask the rage I felt toward the threatening footsteps,
Always close behind me wishing me none but harm.

I would escape the horrors of my mind’s eye
If I only could, but the only place I could run to
Was to a sterile room to receive an injection,
That would hopefully rescue me from my plight.

Being strong enough to knock out malicious intruders,
In flight of my imagination, I could murder a billion people, and
In reality, perhaps in a moment of resentment, as many as a hundred.

I remember three weeks past, while feeling under attack,
I hit a young man, whom I deemed a space invader, fiercely below the belt-
I hit him hard with all of my might and as rapidly as I could,
I ran, fearfully only to seek refuge from retaliation-

Coming back to reality and realizing what I had done,
I entered my home hurriedly and locked the world out.
Sheltered inside until the next morning, I counted the minutes until
Once again finding myself lying upon a cold metal table,
Having an IV started in the crook of my left arm, and as
I closed my eyes to my surroundings, I drifted off to sleep.

As they induced electric shock to my brain-
I was brought back to sanity for only a fortnight after which
I quickly returned to hell on earth only to be persecuted once again
By the demons inhabiting my mind and with hope and prayers
I would with all of my strength again
Await that routine rescue from the nightmares that rule my life-
Every day and every night…

Claudia Krizay

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